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  • Lynda Nichols

Aren't We All

My brother-in-law at 56 years of age passed away, he had been diagnosed with cancer 34 days before.



Mike was resting in what had been referred to his 'sitting' room, this was a bedroom that he and my sister had turned into a meditation, reading room, that now was being used as hospice. The walls were lined with bookshelves that cradled books on American History to the Bible. Mike was an avid reader and loved history. An American flag hung on one wall, the lower right corner had not been secured, the overhead fan's breeze caused the flag to ripple ever so gently.


When I arrived that Sunday morning, walking into 'the' room upon seeing me, Mike said Lynda freaks me out. My mind raced should I leave, should I say something, just as I looked at my sister with horror on face in typical Mike fashion he said "it's a joke". Mike had done stand-up comedy around the Phoenix area for a number of years. This was our Mikee.


At the foot of his bed was his recliner, I sat down and made that my spot, it allowed me to see his face and chat a bit when he felt strong enough. My sisters and I have always been able to sense spirits, to see and feel those on the other side. As time passed the room began to fill with more and more spirits, we commented that it had become standing room only, one of the distinct things we noticed were the temperature changes that would occur when a new spirit person would arrive.


At midnight Mike sat up in his bed looking beyond us as if he were seeing someone that was for his eyes only, he raised both arms stretching them toward what only he could see he flexed both hands into a halting motion and said " Wait, Wait", he then laid back down..... those were his last words.



It was now the wee hours of Monday morning, we had called Hospice of the Valley to send a nurse, she arrived her name was "Angel" really?! She said to us he is now actively dying, my response was 'aren't we all?'


There is a core truth about the human condition: It ends. This is a truth none of us escape, however desperately we may try. We die. Someone watches us die. We sit vigil while others die while we watch, or we flee in those moments. Why? Because death is the unknown, frightening and so much bigger than we are; it is fearful until we have experienced the honor and gift of being a witness to final moments - until we know.



The day or two before his passing Mike's would wake up and say things that made no sense...to us.


On Saturday, he said to my sister that a little boy had come to him and told him to get ready, later still he said his mother and sister (both in spirit for a number of years) had come to spend some time with him they had been reminiscing about something that happened back when he was a child. We witnessed him having other conversations and reunions filled with a sense of joy and happiness.


I was privileged, to witness Mike's last few hours. his transition was quiet, peaceful.


But that's not been the last we have heard from him, I am grateful that he pops in every so often to give my sister a message. Just this past Saturday, my sister and I had gone to a farmers' market, during the drive we had been discussing topics of concern. While we were shopping I had left my cell phone in the console of my car, we were gone about an hour. We were getting ready to pull out of the parking lot when in an extremely loud and clear tone coming from my cell phone it said "Everything is absolutely okay!" We looked at each other in disbelief. Then I saw him smiling and touching my sister's shoulder. He said to tell her, "it's okay when she's ready." I said do you know what that means? She replied, yes. I told him that I am not ready to "hear" or "see" him yet. That all she wants to do for now is just feel his presence.


And that's OKAY!









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